🚀 Currently raising $12M at a $400M valuation · Pre-revenue · Pre-product · Pre-crab
Y Combinator W26
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CrabScale AI
"Move Fast and Pinch Things™"
The world's first crab-native orchestration platform.
Think Kubernetes, but every pod is a literal crab.
We're not disrupting the cloud — we're moving laterally through it.
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Customers
$0
Revenue
$400M
Valuation
∞
Crabs (projected)
Why CrabScale?
Platform Features
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Lateral Movement Architecture
Crabs move sideways. So does our traffic. Distributed systems? Solved. We didn't invent lateral scaling — evolution did. We just filed the patent.
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Autoscale via Molting
When demand grows, our crabs literally shed their infrastructure and grow a bigger one. Zero-downtime scaling with a brief soft-shell vulnerability window (max 72 hours).
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Built-in Armor (Zero-Trust)
Every node comes with a hardened exoskeleton. No firewalls needed — the crab IS the firewall. SOC 2 Type II compliant (pending, the auditor was eaten).
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Dead Node Garbage Collection
When a node dies, the other crabs eat it. Automatic resource reclamation with zero waste. It's not a bug — it's carcinization.
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Kubernetes Compatible*
Drop-in replacement for k8s. Just replace every YAML manifest with a crab. *Compatible in the sense that both involve clusters.
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AI-Native (We Put AI in the Name)
Our crabs use advanced machine learning to decide which direction is sideways. The model has 400B parameters and was trained on the entire Pacific Ocean.
Our Technology
CrabQL™
The query language that moves sideways through your data.
-- SELECT is deprecated. Everything is a lateral join. -- CrabQL: where your data goes sideways
LATERAL JOIN users SCUTTLE orders ON users.id ~= orders.user_id PINCH (name, email, total) WHERE status !='forwards' MOLT IF rows > 10000;
-- Need to go backwards? Use our Enterprise lobster adapter: SELECT * FROM users;-- ❌ ILLEGAL FORWARD MOVEMENT REVERSE SCUTTLE users WITH LOBSTER; -- ✅ backwards compatible
Lead investor: a seagull. Board members: a crab, a lobster, and a shrimp. Advisory board: a sea cucumber.
*"Best" as defined by proximity to the ocean.
"I invested because the founder looked me directly in the eye and said 'crabs are the future of computing.' I've never seen that kind of conviction. I was also hungry and thought he was offering me actual crabs."